Dementia Care Residents: More Than People with Memory Loss

By Emma Toth

As the spring semester came to an end, I started my annual search for a summer job. The only difference this year was that the world was in the middle of a pandemic, so the pickings were slim. After not finding anything for a month, my mom mentioned working for a nursing home. I had some hesitation at first but I thought about what I had been learning in my psychology courses — that there is high demand for care for the elderly population — so I considered her suggestion. Turns out that an assisted living facility in my area had just created a new position to substitute all the volunteers they would normally have. I found a job! They needed the most help in the memory-care unit, so that is where they put me. My mom had worked in nursing homes my whole life, so I had interacted with dementia residents multiple times, but I had never taken care of them.

It turned out to be one of the most treasured moments of my life. One woman used to be a tap dancer; she was one of my favorites. Whenever the piano player would come in to play some vintage music, I would grab this woman’s hands, she’d give me a look, then we would stand up and dance together. She’s still very good, she showed me all her moves. She doesn’t speak, so I don’t know much about her past, but I do know SHE LOVES TO DANCE! This experience taught me the importance of interacting with dementia patients on a personal level.

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Once I got to know the residents I cared for I fell in love with their personalities. I only wish for the families to re-fall in love with who these people are now. They might be different than the mother that raised them or the brother they grew up with, but they are still wonderful people who have a lot to live for. Dementia might be seen as a “death sentence,” but these individuals have made such a difference in my life. I only wish more people saw it this way.

From this experience, I realized that dementia, while a terrible disease of the brain, doesn’t have to define how I care for a patient. I realized many people around me didn’t know how to handle social situations with a dementia resident, because they saw them as problematic. We need more education on how people with dementia act. It is not only that their memory is going away. Their emotions, actions, and reactions can be inappropriate. Not inappropriate in a negative way, just incorrect for the situation. As a psychology student, I have been taught about dementia in many classes, but this personal care interaction allowed me to see them as real people. One of my favorite things to do at work was to learn about what they have done in their lives. I work with people who have been alive for almost a century. They have so many stories to tell and experiences I can learn from. I see it as celebrating their life instead of just coaxing them through a confusing moment.

If you have a family member in a nursing home or assisted living facility, try to visit if you can. If you don’t, consider volunteering. The nursing home I worked at had video calls in place of in-person visits so the residents could still see their family and friends. If anything, send letters or cards saying hello. If you do visit or work with people who have dementia, I have some tips on how to make the experience easy for everyone involved.

DON’T:

  • Talk to them as if they are not there

  • Get frustrated in front of them

  • Ask if they know or remember names or specific details from the past

  • Ask time-related questions like “what did you do yesterday?”

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DO:

  • Speak normally — no baby talk, otherwise called elderspeak

  • Engage them in initial conversation

  • Be prepared to repeat yourself and be patient

  • Engage in their present reality. This may include commenting on music/tv, the weather or their personal interests

Overall, treat dementia residents with the same respect you would anyone else. Their life experiences are very valuable and shouldn’t be reduced to their current reality. They are more than people with memory loss.

Resources

Caring for Someone with Dementia: 5 Fundamentals. (2018, September 28). Retrieved from https://www.alzheimers.net/caring-for-someone-with-dementia/

Heerema, E. (2020, January 16). The problems with elderspeak. Verywellhealth.com Retrieved from:

https://www.verywellhealth.com/elderspeak-and-older-adults-97972

For more information on dementia, visit the Dementia Society of America or the Alzheimer’s Association.

Relationships, ThinkingKarla Lassonde