Are You Better Than Everyone Too?
By Ashley Basile
Do you ever wonder why the people on your social media feeds look so perfect? Or how people post about their accomplishments like everyone in the world cares? I know I do. But I also fall into the trap of posting pieces of my life that are mostly positive, painting a pretty impressive view of my life. The superiority illusion, also known as the “Dunning-Kruger Effect” is one reason why we view ourselves as better than others and in our time of social media dominance, it seems to consume everyone on the planet.
F. (2014, October 8). Miss Pettigrew, I'm feeling inadequate, send someone in for me to be superior to.' [Photograph].
The superiority illusion is believing that you are either average or above average, and that your negative qualities do not outweigh your positive ones. You are probably thinking “oh that isn’t me, I know my weaknesses” but how many times have you put your ego aside and truly apologized for doing something wrong to your partner or a close friend? I am sure your brain is trying to think of a scenario at the moment so you do not find yourself feeling bad. I find myself naming all the good things I provide in the relationship and seem to underestimate or even forget all of the amazing things my partner contributes too. I am sure many people reading this blog have fallen into this trap too. The good thing is, we are not alone in it, there is a reason that you tend to overestimate your contributions.
Research by Rusbult led to the finding that the beliefs people hold about themselves are more positive than negative. This provides issues within close relationships because individuals see themselves in a very positive light. We do not consider that only half of us can be better than average. Researchers have found that males and females in committed relationships have skewed views of how much they contribute to household work. Both males and females overestimate how much they contribute to tasks such as chores, shopping, and scheduling appointments. For example, women may perceive they do 70% of the household chores and men suggest they do 60%. The problem, adding these estimates together goes over 100%! The superiority illusion can influence our close relationships because it is impossible to do more than 100% of a task. It also shows us how our own misconstrued thoughts can lead us to believe a lot of different things.
It turns out that having these misconstrued thoughts and beliefs about ourselves is a good thing. Would you rather be happy with yourself or be depressed with yourself because you see yourself too realistically? I prefer to stay happy, and I am sure most of you do too. People who suffer from depression experience a symptom called “depressive realism.” This causes them to see themselves in a more harsher light than the rest of us. Depressive realism can be found in the fronto-striatal circuit area of the brain. This area of the brain combines the frontal cortex and the striatum. The frontal cortex oversees your sense of self while the striatum is in charge of your feelings of reward.
This conjoined area in the brain can help determine whether you see yourself very positively or not. Less connectively between the frontal cortex and striatum may lead to thinking more highly of yourself. In people with depression, their levels of connectivity are usually higher meaning they may have more negative thoughts about themselves.
I hope you are wondering how to lessen the superiority illusion in some aspects of your life so that your relationships stay healthy. Daevon Dack expresses 3 tips and tricks on how to have a more appropriate view of yourself in relation to others.
What can we do:
Do not take praise too seriously
Stop judging everyone
Stop comparing yourself to others
These tips and tricks will help keep your superiority illusion at bay. Each tip will help you adjust unrealistic fantasies, rethink degrading someone else to boost your confidence and keep you from comparing your life with others. The superiority illusion can be helpful in making you feel good about yourself, but individuals need to be careful to include healthy tips into their lives as to not destroy relationships.
References
Dack, D. (2017, November 01). How to overcome your superiority complex? Medium.com. https://medium.com/@daevon9090/how-to-overcome-your-superiority-complex-6998d001d767
Rusbult, C. E., Van Lange, P. A., Wildschut, T., Yovetich, N. A., & Verette, J. (2000). Perceived Superiority in Close Relationships: Why It Exists and Persists. Joumal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 79, no. 4, 521-545. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.79.4.521
Scicurious. (2013, April 01). The superiority illusion: Where everyone is above average. Scientific American. https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/scicurious-brain/the-superiority-illusion-where-everyone-is-above-average/
Shaw, J. (2017). The memory illusion remembering, forgetting, and the science of false memory. London: Random House.